Out of my depth

I'm not very good at breathing. I mean I guess I must be passable at it... I'm alive... but I've still got a lot to learn.

One of my main problems with breathing is that I stop doing it every time I concentrate really hard on something. It's like in order to fully focus, I have to hold my breath. Until I'm red in the face and about to pass out.

Perhaps now my fear of diving is starting to make a little more sense?

But, I can be pretty single-minded when I want to be and, having resolved to give it a go, I was going to give it my best shot.

Kareina, my instructor was very sweet and, as it turns out, incredibly patient! Having taken me through all the theory (no. 1 rule: never stop breathing - eek), it was time to get kitted up and in the water.

I guess I should have taken the hint when I managed to put my wetsuit on the wrong way round. Not the most auspicious start...

But once in the water, things were looking up. Apart from feeling very clumsy and not in control of my own limbs, I managed to hold it together and start to descend by deflating my jacket and using the regulator to breathe. It was very weird being so aware of my breathing - it was so noisy and I hadn't been expecting all the bubbles!

Once underwater, I had to perform three emergency procedures. The first two involved taking the regulator out and putting it back in again. I have to admit that it took a lot of stern talking to myself before I mastered these tasks. But master them I did, receiving a divers' 'high-five' from Kareina as a reward.

But it was the third procedure, clearing my mask of water, that defeated me. It sounds simple but I must have tried 20 times and every time it just filled up with even more water! And I know that on several of these occasions it was because I'd stopped breathing... well, I was concentrating so hard on all the other things I had to remember!

So, in the end I had to give up as we ran out of time. I hate giving up but I guess that sometimes you have to accept your limits. Maybe with a little more time (and money) I'd have conquered it... but maybe not... we'll never know! Sorry Sabra!

Of course, the slightly frustrating thing is that the likelihood of me ever having to do any of those emergency procedures for real is very remote but they obviously can't take that chance.

Overall, I think my brain just can't compute diving. I mean anything that requires that much effort and equipment just in order to breathe doesn't seem quite right to me! Maybe I'll stick to hiking from now on...

So, no tales of turtles or whale sharks from me. But I loved hearing about Gemma's dive over freshly-made take-away pizza on the veranda this evening. This is one experience I'll have to enjoy vicariously through her :)

(written 2 Mar)

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Location:Utila Island, Honduras